bup

2008-08-07T22:02:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I've been back here blogging, and a lot has happened since then. Rereading all these posts, sometimes you realize what you were thinking at the time wasn't really a big deal. The things you worry about, months later, don't really mean anything. But of course, it's always easier to have perspective in retrospect..

I've been finding myself daydreaming a lot. On bart, on the shuttle, at work. About what I can't exactly say. Just something different.

I've been having this reoccurring image in my mind: wandering through the streets of an unknown city at night, lights glimmering all around me, all sorts of different people, food stands, skyscrapers and buildings. Hopefully it will happen soon.

2 more weeks until the end of my job. I've made many friends here, experienced things both good and bad, and it's definitely something I'll carry on with me throughout my years. The job ends but life goes on. I know we'll keep in touch.

What a melancholy post.

cordially

2008-01-16T14:46:00.000-08:00

at mindy's request.

To be honest, the past few months have not exactly been a good experience for me. I’ve always worked closely with the associate site manager, and the duties and responsibilities for that role does not exactly appeal to me (unless there’s an expansion in the responsibilities and decisionmaking). The ability to make decisions seems to solely depend on higher up merchants, which I feel impedes our ability to do our jobs. With so many different areas working together, there hasn’t been much negotiation with what each team feels is their priorities (but of course, I know we’re here to protect the bottom line…) This has been something I’ve communicated throughout this site redesign, but I know it’s not exactly something that can be changed. As for now, I’m ok with where I am, but I really appreciate your offer and concern.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Peter
Sent: Tuesday, January 15, 2008 6:18 PM
To: Henry
Subject: RE: Associate Site Manager Position

any reason in particular?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Henry
Sent: Tuesday, January 15, 2008 5:39 PM
To: Peter
Subject: Associate Site Manager Position

Hi Peter,

I appreciate your offer to put me in the running for the Associate Site Manager position, but I’d like to cordially decline.

Thank you,
Henry

2007-12-18T12:50:00.001-08:00

i've resorted to eating liquid lunches at work now cuz it's so insanely busy.. thanks for always bringing me soup v =)

2007-11-12T23:48:00.000-08:00

timing is everything. people say when something unexpected comes along, you should run with it and see where it takes you. but on the other hand, how far can you go into the unknown? would you rather not know what the possibilities are, or risk braving the potential of failure?

2007-10-08T16:13:00.000-07:00

jaeiny says that happiness is something you can control. is that true?

sure, everything you experience is in your head, but that doesn't mean happiness is strictly a perception. you can be content with what you have or how you are, but is that fulfilling enough to get you through each day for the next 60 years? sometimes i feel like we'll never be able to find what we are looking for.. and who even knows what that is anyway?

we're so depressing. damn you jaeiny.

2007-09-20T13:05:00.000-07:00

when do u realize that who u are now is not who u were in high school? i dont think u ever do.. to me, ill always be the same person. the stuttering, quiet kid who doesn't know how to talk to anyone. someone who fumbles his words and gets clammy hands. i guess my whole life i've been trying to become someone more outgoing and personable, but its hard doing something so different from ur personality.

alcohol sure helps though doesn't it?

2007-09-17T19:09:00.000-07:00

"the only constant feature of all your dissatisfying relationships is you".

how depressingly true.

2007-09-16T20:07:00.001-07:00

this guy makes me proud to be asian. jesus.

2007-09-15T17:43:00.000-07:00

its weird how u can talk to some people so easily, yet cant find any topics to talk about with others. even people u met at exactly the same time. must be a psychological thing.

2007-09-13T14:47:00.000-07:00

twatwaffle is now my favorite cuss word.

and also fuckface. fuckface is a good word too.

*edit* i'm also quite fond of turdburglar.

2007-07-25T14:48:00.000-07:00

i saw a sign on the bay bridge that says "Please Do Not Drink & Drive". good advice, but naive. it is stupid to pretend ppl dont drive after drinking. sure, we try not to, but there will always be occasions where someone will be driving drunk or buzzed ("Buzzed Driving is Drunk Driving!"). how about, instead, we help drunks drive better? so here is my list of tips for making you a better drunk driver:

1. stay within the speed limit
this is pretty self-explanatory. chances are when you're drunk driving, it is 2am and dark with not too many others around. so stay within reasonable limits.

2. look directly in front of you
peripheral vision is for suckers who pretend they're not drunk. when you're drunk, theres only one thing you should be thinking about: a direct line home into bed. don't move your head too much unless you absolutely need to, since doing that will probably make you drift. when you're on the freeway, stick with one lane and try ur hardest to not drift outside the lines.

3. don't do anything crazy
don't fumble around with your nav system or reach for stuff in your glove compartment. depending on how drunk/sleepy you are, cell phones might be helpful. but i always found windows slightly cracked and music helps more.

if you're about to yak, just give up and dont get into a car.

2007-07-05T17:08:00.000-07:00

i've been picking up the guitar recently after a long absence, but not sure why. I just got a drumset!

the grass must always be greener on the other side. but i love to play both.

2007-07-02T10:14:00.000-07:00

i had a weird dream last night. i was in this military hangar and the military was holding this group of people like a concentration camp. But i was a reporter of some sort, and i was supposed to smuggle in an iphone. So i head to a donut shop and buy a pack of 3 donuts in a box, and slip the iphone underneath it. The guy at the door checks me, then lets me through. Inside, I eat one of the donuts but it was really dry, flaky and nasty.

Then all of a sudden, I'm standing on a sidewalk with a hose and water running. A black cat walks by, and I spray it with my hose. He jumps, then turns around menacingly and jumps on me, clawing and biting me. I fall down and put up my hand to block him, but he just bites my hand out of the corner of his mouth.

Thats when I woke up and checked my hands. And i was ok.

2007-06-19T09:01:00.000-07:00

so i was driving to work this morning and got off the freeway on fremont street. I was the first one stopped at the light, and across the street there was this man dressed in black rags of some sort. He stopped, and proceeded to take a crap in the middle of the street. Since i was the first one at the light, i had the good fortune of having a completely unobstructed view of his performance. I think i counted 4 deuces before he decided to WIPE (with what i'm not sure. I'm guessing his hand or a rag/shirt of some sort).

Funny thing was, there was a car trying to parallel park about 10 feet away from him at the curb. And somehow, he didn't seem to mind, and just kept trying to park his car. I can't say that I would feel comfortable parking my car so close to fresh crap from a crazy.

God i love sf.

2007-06-08T09:50:00.000-07:00

one reason why apple & macs are for dumb people:

http://www.wired.com/software/coolapps/news/2007/06/core_anim

Disco is software for burning disks that illustrates a new approach to interfaces: It smokes while it burns. If you blow into your computer's microphone, the smoke blows across your desktop.

When Steve Jobs takes the stage Monday at Apple's programmers conference, he's likely to give the world a glimpse of an upgraded Mac operating system that could herald the biggest changes to the machine's interface in 30 years.

Really? Smoke blows across your desktop? Hooray! As for animated & flashy interfaces... who cares? maybe it's just me, but i like my interfaces static and boring. it takes less resources, looks fine and runs faster. ever try that windows blinds program? i hate that crap...

2007-05-22T14:58:00.000-07:00

It's a slow afternoon in late-May(!), and I'm sitting here wondering how it is that I am 25 now. It's one of those melancholy days spent daydreaming about nothing at all. So here is a running commentary of my stream of consciousness.

You grow up feeling like this day will never come. When i was a kid, most of the time I felt like these days never ended; summer was hot and everlasting and all i worried about was who to call to play basketball with. And then there were the times when i would inexplicably think about the future. getting old. dying.

I can recall a very specific memory, maybe when i was 10 or 11 years old, of going through a Peter Pan phase: I was afraid of becoming old. I remember lying awake at night, wondering what the future held for me. I'm sure it sounds conceited now, but I remember thinking that I'd one day become this great person, someone who'd make an actual difference in the world. What's more, I didn't just imagine greatness, I expected it. But of course, imagining these things from the comfort of your bed was a lot easier back then than it is now.

Nowadays, although I'd hate to admit it, my daily life revolves around something a little less altruistic: money. As a kid, I hated the concept of money, and especially the way it seeded arguments between parents.

But once reality sets in, you realize that you aren't special. Money drives the world, and the world doesn't cater to you. The only semblance of greatness you will probably experience are the imagined scenarios in your head while driving home alone from work.

So, I guess the purpose of this post is: which is worse? The naive child who expected greatness while never experiencing the realities of life, or that same child 15 years later?

2007-05-18T10:18:00.001-07:00

Minika partying in Japan:

henry: haha superman shoooooooo!
minika: lol
minika: fu
minika: fucker

2007-05-16T10:54:00.000-07:00

i have this song stuck in my head.

stevie's the best.

2007-05-14T22:01:00.000-07:00

i was watching stephen colbert the other day, and he had this bit about literary critics and why we don't need them. i was slightly buzzed, but i found myself agreeing. i mean, i never choose what books i read (not that i read a lot) on any bestseller ratings, or NY Times etc. usually it's always word of mouth. so then i thought, i can't be the only person who is like this. i thought about how ppl casually suggest books to each other, and i thought about all those (nerdy) book clubs that ppl try to form.

eventually, i came to the conclusion that there should be a yelp-like site for books, where all readers can go to submit their personal reviews, form online nerdy book clubs and where i can surf and explore new and interesting books to read. i searched around for a bit but i couldn't find a site like that. so i thought, maybe i should try to get some ppl together to create one.

and eventually of course, sell it to google for a boatload of money and run away laughing.

2007-04-29T09:51:00.000-07:00

I had a weird dream last nite. In my dream, we were prepping for an attack by a vampire. There was a random pregnant lady, Allie, my roommate, and Lil Bow Wow, who was a half-robot/half-human hybrid. I was going to the grocery store to buy garlic, and as i was getting out of my car, i see this mirror on the ground. I pick it up, and somehow it brings me to this other dimension. This other dimension is exactly the same as this world, but there aren't any people around.

So naturally, i give the mirror to the pregnant lady so she can avoid the vampire attack. She thanks me and disappears. Afterwards at home, we're making this garlic paste (chopped garlic with sea salt, then grind with the flat side of a knife, if anyone's wondering) to smear on our bodies, neck, arms etc, as to not get bitten. Finally, it's time.

I come out of the bathroom, and as i open the door i can't see around the corners, so i run and jump into the middle of the room. Then i see Lil Bow Wow walking up the stairs, and he has a veil over his face. He takes it off, and reveals that he is the vampire. It turns out the vampire is Eunji, and she comes after me. I punch her in the stomach but she just pushes me across the room. Then everything stops, and the whole thing was just a practice run of some sort. Everyone gathers in the room, and Eunji asks, "Would you rather be attacked by vampires or zombies?" I guess she was only helping us practice for an attack by the undead. But since she is our friend, she doesn't want to hurt us.

This makes me wonder. I think I would rather be attacked by vampires. At least they can talk, and maybe you could negotiate with them. And there's always a chance of you becoming one, which is much better than becoming a braindead zombie. Vampires just party and rave all day, and roam the streets at night. I don't think drinking blood would be that hard to get used to either.

Perhaps this is an omen of things to come... i'm hungover.

2007-04-25T23:10:00.000-07:00

i just bought something online, and entered all my credit card information from MEMORY. i need to stop shopping. that was kinda scary..

2007-04-23T10:55:00.000-07:00

i've been reading and hearing about the 2008 presidential elections, and i'm wondering who will win. it's so very exciting! let's do a quick (100% scientific and factual) breakdown:

Barack Obama: someone who's name is a cross between a Mortal Kombat character and a terrorist is not going to win.

Hillary Rodham Clinton: no stance on issues, and we all know how that turned out for kerry. and that's not counting the fact that she gives off a bitchy and blood-sucking vibe.

John Mccain: myspace hacked, and reminds me of howard dean. cool die hard name though.

John Edwards: hmm, did you know he has a Second Life account? kinda weird.

Al Gore: shut the hell up already. makes me want to litter and drive a bus.

Rudy Giuliani: very likeable (to me at least). but just feels like he's too... public now.

Joe Biden: ehh.

since i'm tired of thinking about this, i'm going to say the winner is: Bill Richardson.

2007-04-10T11:59:00.000-07:00

2 things u didnt know about me:

i can cross my eyes independently
i can spray saliva directly out of my salivary gland

the end.

2007-03-28T13:05:00.000-07:00

to me, "play the man, not the cards" is probably the single most stupid advice you can give or take. unless you're playing crazy no limit games with tons of cash, or homegames where ppl dont really care, it doesn't work. what separates someone who knows how to play, and someone who KNOWS how to play? i think just experience. knowing what starting cards and positions to play, knowing what your odds are for hitting a card on turn or river, etc. it has nothing to do with playing ur man.

say, for example, you have AQs in the hole, and ur opponent has 55. flop comes AQ5 rainbow. he pushes all-in. what do you do?

call. anyone would call. any pro would call. this has nothing to do with reading ur man, psychology, psych-out crap. you call. and you can't even consider that a bad read, because nobody would ever think someone has 55 and throw away top 2 pair.

however, what you CAN do is pick up on his betting patterns: raises, checks etc. but as for stuff like how he puts his hand to his chin, scratches his ass or any of that other crap, it makes no sense to me. i dont think i know how to read ppl, but it just annoys me. i hate it when someone tries to stare u down when u make a bet. what exactly are they trying to read? if i happen to cough, is he gonna call or raise?

i dont know why i feel the need to tell you this. too much watching poker on tv i guess.

2007-03-22T11:20:00.000-07:00

i was listening to bloc party while driving home yesterday, and i noticed that i can't really listen to music on a broad level anymore. what i mean is, ever since i learned guitar, i focus strictly on listening to the guitar parts in a song more than the actual song itself. it gets really annoying. it's hard to explain, but unless i'm trying to learn the song, i'd rather hear the song as a whole than by its individual parts (ie guitar, drums). thats why being drunk is so good, because it makes it harder to focus.

and this might sound weird, but another thing i've come to notice is that a song is not good because it is different. it is good because it is repetitive. a long repetitive chorus builds up the tension in a song to the point where i'm thinking "just move on to the next part already!". then finally when it does, you feel a strange sense of relief. to me, that feeling is better than any crazy riffs or solos. the anticipation and buildup is much more important than the actual climax. try listening to "bloc party - helicopter", and focusing on the bass and guitar parts. hopefully you can hear what i mean.

*edit* hmm maybe thats why trance is so good...

2007-03-13T16:10:00.000-07:00

as i was browsing around ticketmaster to see if bloc party tix are sold out yet (they are), i started thinking about how bands were getting back together to go on tour. now that police and rage are back together (both of which i dont really care about), i started wondering about which bands i'd like to see, but will never be able to. so here are my top ppl/groups/bands i wish i could see perform live (in this order):

nirvana
michael jackson
beatles
2pac

while we're on the topic of ticketmaster, does anyone else find it hard to do those confirmation things that make you type out what's in the blurry box?! i must be color blind or something, but some of them are damn near impossible to read. sometimes it takes me 2-3 tries just to get an easy one and get it right. ticketmaster, i'm not a freakin bot.

2007-03-06T15:50:00.000-08:00

i watched babel last nite. i had high expectations going into the movie, but instead it was kind of disappointing. the movie wasn't bad, but it wasn't good either. without giving away any plot points, i feel like the indie/deep/meaningful films aren't heading in a good direction.

it started with Garden State, which was meaningful. then came Lost in Translation, which i THINK was meaningful, but couldn't really tell. and now we have Babel, which is sort of formulaic. the formula is:

1) the director takes a person thru some random journey to find himself (either spiritual or physical), then at the end of the movie have a scene where:

OR

2) the director throws together different random plots/people with their own conflicts and agendas, who happen to be connected because of some random incident, then at the end of the movie have a scene where:

AND

a) the audience has no idea what is happening (whispering scene in Lost in Translation, note scene in Babel), and we all feel somehow mesmerized by the thoughfulness of the director's intent.

OR

b) a character has a deep message to the audience
-i'm going to live life and stop worrying about the rest
-who cares what other ppl think
-we're all different but at the same time similar
-i love you/mom/dad/sibling/family

go ahead, mix and match. don't get me wrong, it's not bad. i love most of these movies, and i like walking away from a movie that makes me think, even if i don't know exactly why. i guess maybe i don't make a good movie critic, but it just seems the different is turning into the norm.

and btw, im really addicted to imeem.com

2007-02-13T13:59:00.000-08:00

my shoulders and back have been really sore recently (from slouching in my crappy chair at work no doubt, while i write this blog) so i was chatting w/gf online last nite, and i was trying to reach behind my shoulders to massage myself. although it kind of worked, it was a struggle, and i was basically just trying to jab myself.

that was when i realized: if i could give myself a massage, it'd be the greatest massage ever, since i know the exact spots where im sore. then i proceeded to spend the next few minutes thinking of how to make this idea work, blueprint, pulleys/levers etc. then i googled "self massager" to see if anyone else has thought of this, thinking it'd just return tons of porn sites. however, i came across this:

the thera cane. i went on amazon and ordered one right then and there.

let's hope it works. it looks creepy as hell, but i guess it's less creepy than the idea i had in my head of 2 fake hands on ur shoulders with levers to ur own hands. review will be coming soon.

2007-02-07T21:44:00.000-08:00

i always wonder about these online dating sites such as eharmony etc. they claim to guarantee u meet someone special, but just watching the commercial makes me doubt it. they flash these questionnaires with questions such as "i enjoy taking on challenges", "i find humor in everyday things". i wonder, who would actually say no to these questions? would u say, no, i dont find humor in anything, or i don't like challenges? seems kinda stupid.

and even if those questions make u rate ur answer on a 1-5 scale, does it really make a difference? does a 3 really differ that much from a 4? i'm sure its not that black and white, but maybe i just find it hard to rate my feelings on such general questions like that. whenever i had to do those teacher evaluations, i never really knew how to grade someone on a scale, and usually just put 3's and 4's, unless they were super crappy (in which case they get a 1 or i just dont fill it out)

2007-02-06T13:34:00.000-08:00

it seems like alcoholism is the latest trendy end-all excuse for any kind of mistake u can make. i banged my friend's wife, but im an alcoholic, so u can forgive me. i'm a racist, but i'm an alcoholic, so once i get help for my alcoholism, i won't be racist anymore. does this really make sense? what happened to the days of denial, lying and cheating? if ur gonna do something bad, dont make up a pitiful excuse to cover it up. be like clinton and lie about it until ppl find out the truth. because by that time, nobody will care anymore.

2007-01-31T15:07:00.000-08:00

for some reason, i really like "welcome to the black parade" by my chemical romance. reminds me of queen. i never really thought much of it until i saw that one commercial with those 2 guys singing it in the underground subway.

have u ever gotten this weird euphoria from interacting/watching something really calm? it's hard to describe. ive noticed it ever since i was a kid. it's literally a wave of good feeling coming over u. the most specific example i can think of is watching the interrogation scene in the original matrix, where agent smith first comes face to face w/neo in the room. his voice is really monotonic and strangely soothing, but to the point where i have this out-of-body experience of feel-goodness. another time i can remember experiencing it is during a quiet chess game.

i wonder if theres a term for that feeling. or maybe im just bipolar.

2007-01-28T22:32:00.000-08:00

i had a weird dream last nite. i walked into a room, and my gf was laying on the bed. she sat up and told me shes found someone else, and is breaking up w/me. i kinda sputtered around a bit, then decided to leave. i look on the drawers and pick up my wallet, but i noticed that all my money was gone. so i ask her if she took my money. she says yes. i tell her thats all the money i have, and i need it back. then she says, ok ok ill write u a check for $15.. later, she txts me to remind me that we're broken up. thats when i wake up and check my phone, then i realized it was a dream.

why do ppl have these "baby on board" signs on their car, but then drive hella aggressively? i was driving on the freeway today, and this minivan with the sign cuts me off. its as if they use that sign as an excuse.

i hope i dont break anything while snowboarding this weekend.

2007-01-25T11:27:00.001-08:00

what is more superficial? determining whether to date someone using a list of qualities that you're looking for, or simply by looks? for example, if u go out with someone who has the typical qualities of a good guy (good job, smart etc), but don't find him attractive, is that less superficial than going out with someone who u think is attractive, but doesn't have those qualities?

i'm not saying either one is wrong or right, but imo, first impressions are far more important than a criteria of desirable qualities. im sure we'd all hate to admit it, but looks is the first thing that draws u to the other person, and in most cases it is the determining factor in how far a date/relationship can go.

2007-01-24T14:30:00.000-08:00

last nite, i finally took down the christmas tree that my bro put up. it was such a hassle. the tree itself was screwed to the base, which was also filled with water. needless to say, water spilled out and needles were everywhere. i got annoyed and just pulled the whole thing out by the trash cans next to the driveway.

i was listening to 105.3 morning show today, and they had a segment on american idol. i can't stand american idol, but even worse are the crappy ppl on american idol. the only person who has any sense on that show is simon. i heard simon say someone looked like a bushbaby and had a horrible voice, and i know he's right without even watching the show. seems like ppl are so pc that they cant give/take any real criticism.

phoenix suns -9 at new york knicks